Thursday, July 05, 2007

Al Gore III scores trifecta in latest publicity stunt

Much of the press is mis-reporting former vice-president Al Gore's son's run-in with the law yesterday. Most are reporting it as an arrest for drug possession. It was really a publicity stunt that failed only because a famous Hollywood celebrity wasn't involved.

This is how the facts were supposed to be reported had Darryl Hannah shown-up for their date:
  • Driving over 100 MPH in a Toyota Prius Hybrid: Few people are aware a hybrid can go that fast. That's important to know when merging with highway traffic. Obviously, most have underestimated the power under the hood of those electricity-and-gas-propelled green machines.
  • Possession of Marijuana: Marijuana has legitimate medical uses and Al Gore III was exercising civil disobedience in protesting its illegal possession as an impromptu spokesman for NORML.
  • Possession of prescription drugs Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, Adderall and Soma: Though Al Gore III is only 24-years old, he was demonstrating his empathy for senior citizens' having to cross the border to attain less-expensive prescription drugs in Canada than are available here in the states. His was an act of selflessness, willing to become prescription drug reform's new poster-boy (an opportunity wasted by Patrick Kennedy).
This unfortunate stunt-gone-wrong will be soon dismissed as a big misunderstanding. The former vice-president won't need to hire a criminal defense attorney for his son, but will instead replace the family's publicist with one of Paris Hilton's, Britney Spears', or Anna Nicole Smith's.

1 comment:

  1. Nice try, Tom, but you've overlooked the obvious Bush Administration conspiracy angle here - another in a long line of such conspiracies designed to rob Algore II of his rightful place among the great minds and leaders in American history.